It is with the deepest regrets that the Bureau of Caucasian Affairs United Native Americans (also known as: U N A ) is forced to make the following announcement.

Due to rising prices, budget cuts, the price of tea in China, and an all around lack of Pride in the ample gifts you have been given, we are forced to take the following actions.


The 4 vast reservation sites, ie: Death Valley, The Salt Flats,The Badlands,and The Yukon, will now be divided roughly in half, and a major interstate will run through them.

It is expected that you will promptly remove the remains of any who may reside in the path of said improvements. (It was just such shocking lack of foresight as this that has led to these improvements having to be made by the Bureau